神奈川県大磯町にある「エリザベスサンダースホーム」から、約50年ほど前に当時5歳の2人の女の子を引き取られた英晴さん（アメリカ在住）からのメッセージをご紹介します。当時孤児院と呼ばれた親なき子供たちの家の創設者は、あの三菱財閥創始者の岩崎弥太郎の孫娘、澤田美喜さんです。

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私の2人の娘の子育ては、成功もあれば、失敗もあった。

私たちは、家族でたくさんの体験を共にした。キャンプカーでアメリカ中を旅したり、山登りをしたり。時には学会に娘をつれていったりもした。

養女になる前、２人はまったく違う環境で育てられていた。

長女は、実の母に愛されて育った。
妹はわずか生後3ヶ月で孤児院に来るまで、ろくに食事も与えられていなかったために、ほとんど歯がなく、体重はわずか11キロしかなかった。

そんな背景が影響しているのかわからないが、二人はその後まるで違う人生を歩んでいる。

長女は、大学で全米育英会の奨学生に選ばれ、Yale, Swarthmore, Santa Cruz, Pomonaなどの 4つの大学に合格した。成績は優秀で、今はUniversity of Coloradoの博士課程で勉強に励む傍ら、他に経営コンサルタント、日系市民連盟の役員、そして家庭での役割などいくつもこなしている。 

次女はどうかといえば、７ 年大学に通い、卒業はしていない。結婚して2人の子どもを設けたが、離婚した。職を転々とし、経済的に苦しいときは、時々援助をしているが、今は高齢者介護の職について自活している。そんな彼女を私は誇りに思う。

私たち夫婦が子育てにおいて心がけたことといえば、娘たちをできる限り「褒める」ことだ。特に、次女は長女よりも褒められる機会がなかったので、意識して褒めた。

のちに長女が、そのことに傷ついていたと打ち明けてきたことがあった。はたして、長女を褒める回数を増やしていたら、次女はどう感じただろう？

ある時、学校の先生に次女はこう言ったそうだ。

「私はできないけど、姉ならできるわ。」

喜び、悩み、悲しみ、いろいろなことがあったが、今、娘達とは互いに連絡を取り合いながら、仲良くやっている。ふたりは、祖父母にも十分愛され、何度かアメリカ国内旅行を一緒に楽しんだこともある。

私の子育てが成功したか、失敗したかは、子どもに聞かないとわからない。しかし、私は与えられた環境の中できる限りのことをした。それは確かだ。

Here's some interesting message came in from Hideharu.  About 50 years ago,  he adopted two small girls when both were 5 years old. He kindly took custody of them from "Elizabeth Sanders Home" located in Oiso town in Kanagawa Pref. The orphanage at that time was called  "Home for children without parents", the founder of which is called Ms. Miki Sawada who was a grand-daughter of Mr. Yotaro Iwasaki from the famous  Mitsubishi Financially Combined Group.

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I know we have succeeded in some areas and failed in someareas.

We tried to do things together as much as possible. We took many trips throughout the United States by a camper, wa liked mountain trails, took them along when we attended academic meetings, etc.

The two girls came from entirely different backgrounds, and their natural inclinations were very different. The older one lived with her mother until she was 5 years old and was loved by her mother. The younger one was first placed when she was only three months old until she was five years old before she moved to Elizabeth Sanders Home. The previous Home did not feed the children well and misused the funds. The younger one had almost no teeth and weighed only 11.34kiro.

We send both children to college, but the older one did well, but the younger one did not.

She went to college for 7 years but did not graduate and did not get a community college degree. But the older one became a national merit scholar.

She was accepted by all the four colleges and universities including Yale, Swarthmore, Santa Cruz, Pomona. She graduated from Swa rthmore with honors and received a Master's from another college, and now she is in the Ph.D. program at the University of Colorado.

However, I don't know if she would be able to finish all the requirements because of her full time job as a management consultant, taking care of the family and being on the board of the Japanese american Cicitizens' League, etc.

The younger one was married with two children, but now divorced. She tried many jobs, but now takes care of old people who can not take care of themselves. She is taking care of herself, even though I have to help her financially from time to time. But I am satisfied that she is taking care of herself.

We tried to encourage our girls and tried to praise they have done something well. We kept praising the younger one because she needed it more then the older one. We more or less took for granted that the older one will do at any late. Later she told me that she felt shortchanged because we did not praise her as much as we did the younger one.

If we praise...the older one whenever she did well, what would have happened to the younger one. The latter would have retreated into herself more. It has come to a point that she began to think the older one can do anything the younger one can not do. we found that in a class at school the younger one was asked to do something. She said to the teacher that she can not do it but her older sister can. We explained to the older one why we praised her sister frequently. The older one understood, but neverthless she felt cheated.

The two chidren and I are in good relationship and communicate with each other. They were loved by their grandparents (my wife's parents) often taking trips thoughout the U.S.So I have to say that we did well under the circumstances.